A mild and impromptu inquisition

By Eanna Kelly

Che Guevara stared down at me; he was now a majour part of the culture he had despised…if only he could know! His image bedecks this student’s apartment wall as it does many others. The other stereotypical pieces were in place- the three day old plates with residual pizza crusts (pizza being as culinary adventurous as many a student would dare go); a play-station in the corner that contained pro-evolution soccer; a George Foreman grill in the kitchen and a DVD copy of ‘Dodgeball’ lying in the middle of the living room.

My friend Mo was sitting on the couch eating mild curried noodles straight from the pot: the very prophecy of failure. I try to engage him on the topic I have come to talk about: the European elections. Ever one to seize an oppourtunity to express his opinion, he jumps a-top the invisible soap box he carries around with him: "The European Union is stupid", he exclaims (I wince as I sense the direction we are about to veer). "It was great for us when our economy was developing but look at us now." I was inclined to agree with the main thrust of his argument, (which involved him detailing how the interest rate set by the ECB had negatively affected us) but he can be an overbearing speaker so I had to cut him off mid-tangent. I hastily made excuses to leave as he began to dissect the poor performance of Tevez for United this year (his vilification of the man, I do not understand)…and on the subject of the EU elections, he knew nothing.

Next I rang my friend Mark, who, with a measured level of restraint told me that he had an exam in one hour and was therefore uninterested to abet my cause. (In any rate, on the subject of the EU elections, he knew nothing.)

I dropped in on my friend Ross who made me partake in a project he was conducting with his Mac book laptop. His ‘photo booth’ application was set to sepia and I was to pretend I was a part of the ‘Roaring Twenties’ which involved me dancing the can-can (the lengths I shall go to for a scoop...) He lives in a minimalistic wood-lined apartment (I suddenly see him as a Magneto-like figure…could be because I watched X-men instead of studying the night before.) Ross’s head looks like it could be a relative of Chewbacca and he speaks with an accent that requires a conscious effort to maintain. (I suspect...) His representation of Europe appealed to me: "The Union institutes for us a feeling of not just being Irish, but of being European."

Yes I will agree, the feeling of being a true European, even though we are on the periphery of the continent, is an affable concept. He also congratulated Ryanair on their enterprise; an enterprise that helped "bring us closer to Europe". (I let my own personal feelings get in the way here…something about Ryanair's pre-flight jingle that bounds around the cabin has the effect of exacerbating dread. Their ideology of cost efficiency leaves me cold too- I imagine a supervisor inspecting planes in the hanger and questioning whether the plethora of nuts and bolts is really necessary.) After laughing for a while at Willie Crowley's campaign slogan (juvenile but worth Googling), I thank Ross for his fruitful comments and leave before he eulogises on the "superlative" Charlie Kaufman….I have deadlines now. Oh, and on the subject of the EU elections, he knew nothing.